|Snooki – Mets fan from birth|
Here’s ‘The Situation’, no pun. We take a bunch of Mets players and throw them through the Jersey Shore filter. The result? A Ron-Ron juice Pauly D mixture of a Snooki party in a box tossed together with a Deena holiday filled with those JWoww bubbles, a dose of Ronnie punch screwing Sammi over, topping it off with a little trash-bag Staten Island dump Angelina…and presto, the Jersey Shore Edition of your New York Mets!
2011 Mets – Jersey Shore Edition
Jason Bay aka “Babyface” – Whaddya mean why they call him ‘Babyface’? Wanna catch a smack jerk-off?
Carlos Beltran aka “The Rican” – Yo fellaz Boriqua, yo fellaz Boriqua, ya fellaz Boriqua posssssse!
Luis Castillo aka “The Frustration” aka “The Humiliation” aka “Unlucky Louie” aka “Lou Douchebag” aka “Louie Boots” – I don’t even wanna say anything else about this mo-mo, and that’s just the situation hea.
Ike Davis aka “Ike Bombs” – Are you blind or somethin? He straight up kills ‘em, blows em out the water.
R.A. Dickey aka “The Rejuvenation” – This kids career was practically buried in cement, respect that.
Jon Niese aka “Johnny Nose” – Ga’head make fun of’em again and you’ll catch a smack ya trashbag.
Angel Pagan aka “Angioletto” – This is the real Angel in the outfield, not like that stupid movie.
Bobby Parnell aka “Bobby Heat” – Listen bro, we’re tawkin triple digits on the radar. This dude gets pulled ova throwin fastballs.
Mike Pelfrey aka “Big Mike” – Big Pelf? That’s fuckin retarded. Who says Pelf?
Oliver Perez aka “O-Fugazi” aka “Oliver Scumbag” – You think it’s funny asshole? I’ll pound you BITCH! This guy is definitely part of the IFF (I’m Fucked Foundation) and deserves everything that’s coming to him.
Jose Reyes aka “Speedy Giuseppe” – Have you seen this kid round the bases? Ok then.
Francisco Rodriguez aka “Frankie Bop” aka “Funzi Frankie” – Can I get a hit? HIT! Boom bip! And trust me we’re not tawkin about fist pumpin or beating the beat like Pauly D, got me pal?
Johan Santana aka “The Salvation” – No seriously, there’s no denying he’s been carrying this pitching staff for years now.
David Wright aka David “Pretty Boy” Wright – Come on bro, you know that if you were a broad you’d throw your kooka, your bubbles, and everything else at him and get your smoosh on. You’d be all over that sea biscuit.